Keeping an Attitude of Gratitude
It’s easy to find things to be grateful for in November, especially if you’re one of those families that like to share what you’re thankful for as you gather around the table at Thanksgiving.
But what about the other days of the year? If you find it difficult to maintain an “attitude of gratitude” consistently, you’re not alone. Some common mental blocks include:
- A fear of seeming “too sentimental.” What was it that Chester Cheetah used to say in Cheetos commercials? “It ain’t easy bein’ cheesy”? Many of us also worry about seeming too “mushy.”
- Having high standards. A driven person is someone we all look up to, but if you have excessively high standards, you might often be disappointed when things don’t go as expected.
- Impatience. We live in an age of immediacy, so when things don’t happen as quickly as we would like, we often focus on the frustration and anxiety related to that rather than long-term rewards.
- Negativity bias is a tendency to focus on negative experiences more than positive ones. For example, consider how a minor inconvenience can ruin your entire day and “erase” everything good that happened.
- The envy or comparison trap. It can be difficult to be grateful for what you have if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others. And though social media doesn't always reflect reality, people who get stuck in the “comparison trap” often report feelings of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem.
So, rather than focusing on these negative feelings, how can we cultivate a deeper practice of thankfulness?
- Say thank you. And don’t assume people know you’re grateful for them. A “thank you” note, especially a handwritten one, can go a long way. After all, the average worker receives nearly 100 emails per day, but fewer than 10 personal snail mail items per year (not counting holiday cards and invitations).
- Shift your perspective. Research shows that we tend to focus more on loss than on gain, so change your mindset. Reframe good things as “gifts” rather than things you "deserve." And as they say, “comparison is the thief of joy,” so don’t get stuck in that trap!
- Start a gratitude journal. Write down at least three things you’re thankful for every day, whether it’s a friend, a pet or even a good cup of coffee. Don’t forget to revisit these lists when you’re feeling down.
- Treat gratitude like a muscle. If it hasn’t been “worked out” in a while, your skills might be a little rusty. However, studies show that practicing gratitude for 15 minutes a day, five days a week, for as little as six weeks can improve your mental health and boost your brainpower.
Remember, gratitude can positively impact our health by reducing depression and anxiety, while also improving heart health, focus, sleep quality and longevity. It can even improve our relationships, but we have to be willing to express our gratitude more often.
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